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Fifty Shades of Grey: The Benefits that Fetishes Bring to a Relationship



Let's talk about Fifty Shades of Gray, the world's fetishist bestseller, written by the British author E. L. James. An absolute commercial success, the work is loved and hated by many. Despite the polemics, the troubled story between the protagonist couple Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey has a merit that cannot be denied: the overwhelming literary success gave rise to a heated debate about sexual practices that have always been surrounded by taboos and prejudices.

An increasing number of researches begin to prove in a scientific way that followers of the so-called BDSM (bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism) can obtain from these activities a series of physical and mental benefits, about which the community of practitioners already knew for a long time.

In a 2013 study, researchers interviewed 902 people who performed BDSM practices regularly and 434 "vanilla" individuals, a term used to refer to those who have conventional sex. By answering questions about personality, relationships, bonds, and well-being in general, the bondage participants (fetish of tying and immobilizing the partner in various ways) showed a lower degree of neuroticism, a trait similar to anxiety, when compared to those who only had vanilla sex. They also proved to be safer, more comfortable and calmer in their relationships, which suggests that there is a link between practice and these positive psychological traits.

Another effect that is very familiar to the BDSM community is the altered states of consciousness. "I do a lot of yoga and meditation," a fetish practitioner and international relations expert told NYMag at a major NGO, which identified itself only as Ratie.

"I think the rope can have the same effect. When you're tied up, it's like you're not responsible for anything else that happens and there's a sense of freedom in that. It's one of the few moments when I don't have to worry about all my responsibilities," he said. "There's this shiver that runs all over my body. It's like a drug," said Christy, another fan.

Other people report this state of mind as a way of escaping from oneself similar to what you get with alcohol - only with clearer, sharper perceptions. It's more a sense of full attention than intoxication.

This state of complete release from stress and focus only on the present is called "subspace". BDSM practitioners report that it is more easily achieved through bondage, but that it can also be achieved through submission activities. It is the opposite of the "overrespect" felt by the dominators, which has more to do with a sense of focus, control and satisfaction. Dominant and submissive studies have shown that levels of cortisol (stress hormone) decrease on both sides after sexual practices. Mental tests of memory, attention and self-control pointed to a worse performance of the submissive - an indication of altered consciousness.

According to Brad Sagarin, a psychologist specialized in BDSM, one can reach states similar to physical exercise or drugs. "This makes people free themselves for a while. You are placed in a position where you have no control, and that is actually very liberating. You can just relax and let go.

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